So what is Confirm not Conform? And why should we use it?

Fanfare trumpet Deb Lee

I try not to get too sales-pitchy here on the CnC blog. But around this time of year, I start getting a lot of inquiries from people asking why they should buy Confirm not Conform – and those are just the ones who send me emails! (Thank you for taking the time.)

Obviously, we invite you to check out the rest of this website, especially the FAQs and the testimonials. But I'm going to take a moment to toot our own horn and tell you why I think Confirm not Conform is great. Here goes:

Confirm not Conform is an everything-you-need confirmation program that takes confirmation seriously and takes confirmands seriously. It takes confirmation seriously in that it thinks it's worth a genuine decision; it's not something that's just "done" because you go through the steps. And it takes confirmands seriously in that it asks them serious questions, and asks them to step up and take on serious projects that impact the entire church. And in so doing, CnC asks the whole church to take confirmation and confirmands seriously too.

That's the theory behind the program. But I think the practice is just as good. CnC is a program that incorporates best practices for engaging and empowering youth. Confirm not Conform

  • encourages active participation in class sessions, worship, and service
  • pairs youth with adult mentors
  • uses visual, aural, and embodied learning
  • uses experiential learning through field trips and service projects
  • emphasizes being able to ask the questions and find out the answers rather than providing the answers
  • challenges youth to take the lead in projects of significance

Confirm not Conform is a congregational development program that involves youth, parents, mentors, church leaders, and other church members, and inspires them to see youth as the full and active members of your church that they are right now.

Later this month, I’ll be offering a Facebook Live video to talk about CnC and to explain how we do each of the things I mentioned above. Stay tuned. But you can write me any time with your questions at

Good luck to all of you as you prepare for the new program year.