Frequently Asked Questions

  • What is Confirm not Conform?

    Confirm not Conform, or CnC, is a youth confirmation program that takes confirmation seriously.  It exposes youth to a wide range of topics, including Scripture, sacraments, creeds, heresy, the Episcopal Church, and other religions, and asks them to think through what they believe and why.

    It is also a philosophy.  It’s about finding one’s own voice rather than simply conforming to an external standard.  It is a program that respects the work youth do and trusts that if youth put in the effort to articulate what they believe and why, they will make good choices about their next step in faith.

    CnC is also, we have come to find, a congregational development program.  The entire church grows in faith by participating in Confirm not Conform, as mentors, parents, chaperones, or supportive onlookers who all make the commitment to support the youth in their life in Christ.

  • Why a new confirmation program?

    We developed the program because we found that most confirmation programs were designed to have the youth sit quietly for however many sessions and then nod politely and say the right things when presented to the bishop for confirmation.  These programs assumed every youth would be confirmed – would go along with the program – and didn’t seem to allow any room for youth to claim their faith for themselves.  They were being asked to conform rather than truly wrestle with and articulate their beliefs and confirm them.  In developing Confirm not Conform, we created a program we felt would allow youth to be honest in their expression of faith, to gain skills in leadership and in articulating their beliefs, and to make a genuine decision and true affirmation of faith if and when they chose to be confirmed.

  • When I purchase Confirm not Conform, what will I receive?

    With your purchase of the CnC curriculum, you will receive the following:

    1. CnC commitment pledge document
    2. CnC Curriculum lessons 1-16
    3. CnC Weekend Retreat handbook
    4. Getting Started guide and appendices, including promotional materials
    5. iConfirm service and celebration materials
    6. Mentor recruitment and training materials
    7. Mentor/Parent handbook
    8. Downloadable video content to use with corresponding lessons (1, 4, 6, 16)
    9. Users’ License Agreement
    10. Access to the support website

    We also feel that when you purchase CnC, you are not simply buying a product.  We take seriously our commitment to supporting churches that use Confirm not Conform.  We are here to help, to give our advice or support, to incorporate your suggestions, and to be available when you need us.  You can call Confirm not Conform for support more tangibly at any time. Also, feel free to email at info@confirmnotconform.com or by phone at (510) 384-3223.  We will be glad to offer you what we can. We will be glad for your feedback to help make CnC an even better program for our youth, for the church, and for the Christ we are called to seek and to serve.

  • How much does CnC cost?

    Confirm not Conform is sold by annual access (subscription) based on the average Sunday attendance of your church.  After the first year, you can renew your use of Confirm not Conform at half of the initial rate. See pricing for annual access rates.

  • In CnC, do youth learn about the Christian faith and the Episcopal Church?

    Absolutely.  Confirm not Conform is firmly grounded in Scripture, the Christian tradition, Anglican history, and the Episcopal Church.  These facets of faith are approached in a state of exploration, not memorization – though we also ask youth to memorize a sizeable passage of Scripture and to be able to articulate for themselves and for the congregation why they chose that passage and what it means to them.

    We believe youth genuinely confirm their faith when they are able open their hearts and minds to understand what it is they really believe. We ask students to write their gospel and to re-write the Creed not to supersede either the Gospels or the Creeds, but as a means to help youth explore what it is they actually believe; to go beneath the surface of the words they say on a weekly basis and describe in their own words what those historic phrases mean to them.

    In describing CnC, we say that youth will take on three different tasks: Deconstruction, Design, and Construction

    • Deconstruction: youth learn that it’s OK to challenge what they have always been told, to take apart the common beliefs and look at them in a fresh way.
    • Design: as youth decide what they do believe, it helps to see what other believe.  They take a close look at other religions and a close look at their own.
    • Construction: as youth build their beliefs, it’s important to put them into action.  In this section, youth see how belief is more than words.

    These tasks overlap and may not happen in a linear fashion; some lessons include two or even all three of these tasks.  But the goal is not destruction of faith, but construction.  It may not look exactly like the tradition as we currently know it, but it will neither be a mindless parroting of or (negative) reaction to tradition.

  • In what way is CnC a congregational development program?

    In many confirmation programs, no one outside of the teacher and the youth in the confirmation class is involved in the confirmation process.  With CnC, the entire congregation is involved to a greater or lesser extent.  Youth are paired with congregational mentors who meet with students and with one another and attend several classes as well as meet individually with students.  The Vestry becomes involved as youth present an action proposal for a project that addresses one of the Millennium Development Goals.  All the members of the church are invited to write messages of encouragement on the stoles presented to students at the iConfirm service.  And the congregation sees and hears from the youth as they take leadership roles in Holy Week services and share with the congregation their faith as expressed in a Creed they write together.

  • Is Confirm not Conform only for Episcopal Churches?

    Although currently the curriculum is clearly written from an Episcopal point of view, we plan to offer other denominational editions in the future.  In the meantime we welcome those from other denominations or nationalities using CnC as it stands. Lutheran, Methodist and UCC parishes have purchased CnC and the program is also being used by several churches in the worldwide Anglican Communion.

    CnC was developed with Episcopal Churches in mind because we’re an Episcopal Church and that’s what we know.  We would be grateful for your feedback as we seek to expand CnC’s applicability.

  • How many youth can participate in a Confirm not Conform program?  Is there a minimum or maximum number?

    Churches using CnC have varied in class size from three students to over 50.  There’s no established minimum or maximum number; we leave it to churches to decide for themselves when a class size becomes unproductive or unwieldy. With larger groups, churches may decide to break up into two or more smaller classes.  As with all of our materials, you do not need to conform to our expectations; use the materials as may be best for you.

  • What age should students be who participate in Confirm not Conform?  What age is CnC aimed at?

    The #1 question to ask when deciding if youth are of an appropriate age to participate in CnC is, ”Do the youth have the capacity to say no?”  In other words, are they able to make the decision whether or not they want to be confirmed and are they able to articulate why?

    Many 8th graders have gone through the program, but it does vary from person to person.  Some 7th or even 6th graders may well have the maturity they need to make an informed decision; some 16 year olds may not be ready.  By and large, though, the program works well with 8th and 9th graders and older.

  • CnC seems to require a high level of commitment.  How do I encourage families to make the commitment to participate in CnC?

    A course that focuses on a major rite of passage in students’ lives needs to be taken seriously and entered with great commitment.  Because CnC focuses on empowering youth and opening them up to see God within them and challenging them to discover their voice, it equips them for the tough times ahead in a way that soccer, or baseball etc. will not.

    One place to start is with your own awareness of how important faith is for everyone.   Sometimes what we end up facing is not so much a few complaints, but an entire culture that looks at faith as a kind of dessert topping rather than the main meal.

    CnC was carefully crafted so all the pieces fit together and every class is crucial to moving the students forward.  The program doesn’t provide work for the sake of work.  Some of this will be a leap of faith for you if you are using the program for the first time, but we believe you will find that youth (and families) will be energized by this program if they are willing to make the commitment to take it seriously.

  • Can I print out extra copies of materials for different leaders of the CnC program?

    Absolutely.  You download and print whatever copies are needed within your church, as often as you’d like. We only ask that you not share the materials with other churches or congregations.  If the CnC leader moves to another church, the CnC program needs to stay with the church that subscribes to the program.

  • The confirmation program we had been using was set up another way.  Can we adapt CnC to local usage?

    Absolutely.  CnC is a tool for you to use however it works best for you.  Churches have spent more than nine months, more than 16 sessions, changed lessons around, added new material – one church in Australia adapted the material to make sense for the local church.  The key here is to confirm not conform!  The same thing we are trying to convey to the youth is what we are trying to convey to the church as a whole: that your honest exploration of faith is more important than external expectations for you to conform.

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    We have a password reset form to get you back online right away. Just enter your e-mail address and we will send a temporary password immediately. You will be required to change your password once you have successfully logged in.