Confirm not Conform

A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine called me up out of the blue to ask for a palindrome for "a brave and skillful act." She was helping her 8-year-old nephew with his homework. His father, his aunt, and myself, with 8 college and post-graduate degrees among us, after an hour or so we came up with the answer, which was "deed." My friend had a relevant question, often probably left unsaid: What was the point of that? How, exactly, was that going to help her nephew? Was the struggle of coming up with that answer really worth the work?

Hi! Just a quick note to say I really recommend the Middle School Confidential books by Annie Fox. From the website:

I love watching curling at the winter Olympics. I find myself jumping up from the couch and screaming at the television when the rock thingey would glide closer, closer to the house thingey. (You can tell I'm a real pro at this, can't you?)

But I'm terrified to watch the skiing, the snowboarding, even the ice skating because I'm so worried people are going to fall down and get hurt. And then there was the death of the luge racer, which doesn't seem to have stopped anyone--especially Shaun White--from doing amazing and crazy things.

One of the questions we get asked all the time is about the age of the students who take Confirm not Conform: What’s the best age for students to take this program? Behind that question, I hear some other issues around confirmation and youth that I think are worth addressing.

• Issue #1: Our bishop wants all kids to be [insert age here] before they are confirmed.
• Issue #2: The parents want their kids to be confirmed at [insert completely different age here].

Where's the beef?
Remember that old Wendy's ad campaign? Its success was in getting to the point. The slogan communicated that people wanted substance and wanted it now! Well, we have found this to be true for confirmation as well. Don't believe the initial concerns parents and students have about the demands of the CnC program. The truth is, people are looking for something that is truly challenging because, underneath it all they know that something has to be challenging to prepare them for the realities of life.

Tom Brackett, the Program Officer for Church Planting and Redevelopment for the Episcopal Church, keeps writing terrific posts on his blog Church Planting Central. And they keep resonating with what we're trying to do at Confirm not Conform.

Here's a quote from something he posted yesterday:

I'm told that the arrival of your login and password is imminent. With that in mind, I'd like to take the opportunity to invite you to add your voice to the CnC community through the use of the online forum.

When you log in, click on the tab "Blog & Forum" (well, duh, yes, I imagine you could have figured that out) and then the "Forum" link in the left column. From there, you can comment on threads or post your own topics or groups.

I'm having trouble concentrating today because of the news about the earthquake in Haiti. I live in earthquake country, but I've never experienced anything like what is happening there. The images of destruction and the news of suffering has made it hard to think anything else is worth talking about.

It raises the question: when something big happens, how do you deal with it in your class? Do you ignore it? Focus on it? Pray about it?

Welcome to our website! We hope you find the information you need and we’re ready to help you with any questions you might have. I’m the Executive Director of CnC and, along with Scott Denman and Kellor Smith, one of the creators of the program. I spent a dozen years at St. John’s as either seminarian or Associate Rector, which means I’ve done my share of teaching the CnC program, too. As users of the program, all of us at CnC are happy to share our own classroom experiences whenever it might be of help.

Again, welcome to our website, and thanks for your interest in CnC!

I am a parent of 2 children: an 11 year old daughter, Abby, and a one year old son, Evan. I also have many other children--all the youth I’ve worked with over the years. I’m a 26-year veteran of church school and youth work at St. John’s Episcopal Church, and that’s a lot of children.